A Rock-n-Roll Molestation

“I got molested at Sevendust.”  Five words I never thought I would have to say.  Finally, it was warm outside.  For months I’ve been going out in fleece shirts, jeans, tennis shoes, and a coat; basically, the ugliest thing ever.  A girl has to stay warm!  Then suddenly, it’s 75 degrees outside so I did what any girl what do that was headed out to see Sevendust when it’s 75 degrees out; I put on a tank top and some high-heeled sandals.  Those sandals would be my downfall. 

SCENE OF THE CRIME

 We arrived late, of course, and missed the first band.  Lucky for us we got there just in time to see Jada’s (Pinkett-Smith) band (Wicked Wisdom).  Yeah, that was odd.  That set drove me to drink.  Between us we had $12.  That doesn’t go very far at City Hall.  A beer each and then we split a third; big ballin’ for sure.  Back to the important part of the story.  We watched Jada, we watched Social Burn, and made it through most of Nonpoint.  Then it happened.  Our poor choice in footwear caught up with us.  Both I and Mo could barely stand up anymore.  She had cleverly chosen to wear heels, also.  That is when we headed out to the steps to rest.  This lasted at least 20 minutes before the sounds of “Country Boy Can Survive” beckoned us back inside.  Quite an odd choice, but I must admit I sang along.  You know you did, too.  Finally, Sevendust came out.  We stood next to “fun dancing guy” who kept looking back at someone with this sad look on his face that seemed to say, “Come here, friend.  Don’t make me do this alone!”  We were very happy when “fun dancing guy” finally found a friend in “no rhythm guy.”  They looked so happy flailing around together.  Then it came back; the horrible pain; pain so bad that you’re almost willing to risk standing on that beer and cigarette butt covered floor barefoot.  I had had enough.  Deciding I had seen Sevendust once or maybe even twice before this night I made the decision to go back outside.  I was fully prepared to go alone, expecting her to want to stay and enjoy the show.  When I made it outside I noticed she had followed. 

 I pulled up a piece of steps and kicked off those devil shoes.  This was a total Calgon take me away moment.  Yes, it DID feel that good to get them off.  It was about then that we realized we could see just as well sitting right outside the door.  We’re both fairly short, even in heels, and there were way too many tall people blocking us anyway so we spent the final 30 minutes sitting outside and listening and watching from there.  Once the show was over we began people watching.  Lots of others took up residence on the magical feet saving stairs including plenty of drunken weirdoes.  Apparently, some people can afford to get drunk at City Hall.  That’s when it happened.  A somewhat large guy leans down and attempts to talk to me in his best drunk whisper and says, “I really like that top you’re wearing.”  I said “Thank you,” thinking our conversation was over.  He mumbled something about it showing off my “bust” which I though was an odd choice of words and hugs me.  I return the awkward hug and again think our exchange is over.  Nope.  Then he asks, “Are you a C or a D?”  Clearly, this guy’s a charmer.  I’m having fun though so I tell him.  He tells me he thought so and then goes in for another hug.  This time when I attempted the awkward half hug he wouldn’t let go.  He told me he needed a big bear hug so he could feel my boobs up against him.  Yeah, this guy wouldn’t let go until I had both arms wrapped around him.  Then he apologized and said he just had to do it and walked off. 

SEVENDUST: Unaware of Bubba's fruitless attempt at some action.

I looked to Mo and told her I had just totally gotten molested at the Sevendust show.  I was a bit in shock but laughing at the same time.  I mean, it IS funny.  Then I looked at the lovely piece of creepy eye candy that was sitting next to her trying for a phone number.  At that point, I realized that I got the better end of the deal with drunken, huggy molester guy.  He was less scary.  I did learn an important lesson in all this: high-heeled sandals are the devil.  If not for those shoes, none of that would have happened.  I shall choose my footwear more wisely in the future.